Issue #33 - What Turns Us On
& the four cornerstones of the erotic mind
Three Scoops đŚ is a newsletter for millennials, by millennials with a focus on personal growth, sharing our finest resources with you to live your fullest life đ¤šââď¸.
- Love Fidan & Maria đŻââď¸
If you were to peek into our WhatsApp chats, listen to our phone calls, or become a fly on the wall during our neighborhood walks, youâd notice that weâve been talking much more openly about sexual well-being latelyâ even within our close circle. Maybe itâs Scorpio đŚ season, maybe its our syncâd cycles đŠ¸or maybe we are just aware of our primal instincts.
Honestly, itâs been refreshing, (and even fun!), to discuss what often stays in the shadows. As money coaches, Fidan and I are growing increasingly more comfortable discussing taboos.
It got us thinkingâŚwhat is it thatâs worth exploring when it comes to our sexual well-being? Some questions worth contemplating:
What is sex for me?
Do I feel fulfilled in my sex life? What would enrich it? What are my current needs?
How am I feeling about my body?
Am I finding joy, pleasure, and intimacy in sex, as a natural part of life?
What is my sense of ease with my sexual thoughts and feelings?
How comfortable I am in my sexuality, right now?
Do I feel good about my sexual behaviours?
Our states, needs and desires are as unique as our fingerprints, and serve as a reminder of the diverse ways we experience pleasure and connection.
And so, in this issue we share excerpts from Jack Morinâs Book âThe Erotic Mindâ, to better help us understand what turns us on, so that we may create space for more pleasure, fun and intimacy in our lives. Free of shame & judgment!
Letâs get to itâŚ
Here are four key dynamics that heighten sexual excitement, as outlined by sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin.
1 - Longing & Anticipation - Desire increases when someone feels out of reach (longing) or when thereâs the possibility they might become available soon (anticipation). The challenge of overcoming obstacles can make arousal stronger.
2 - Violating Prohibitions - Think taboos! Taboos can be a turn-on, whether psychological or physical. Breaking cultural norms or rules adds excitement, even if itâs just a fantasy without acting on it in real life.
3 - Searching for Power - Consensual power play is an example of a search for power, as is roleplay. Itâs all about creating polarities where one partner takes a dominant role, and the other a submissive role. One can also âswitchâ between.
4 - Overcoming Ambivalence - The most transient of all 4, this is the experience of having mixed feelings, the feeling of being repulsed by someone and attracted to them simultaneously. The play of wanting/not wanting. The chase. The intensity of overcoming someoneâs ambivalence adds to the buildup of sexual excitement.
This resource is inspired by Sex Therapist Dr. Jack Morin.
